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by Braver

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My head is tired and right now I would rather leave it alone. To dig it up is to be freed, or get crushed by the bones. I’ll open up if it’s required, but I swear all that’s left if fire. Now you’ve burned and I swear I’ve turned, but still act the same. I wonder where I learned to behave, well before I came. We’re such a pair and I’m so unclear of who I’d rather be, But I still fight to be lonely. Now I can’t make it stand, that wasn’t a part of my plan. Give yourself, let me feed, lay your will, at my feet. Take my shame, reenter my pain, drown in place of me. I won’t see clearly until I give myself- let’s be free. Lay my ills in the sea. Taste my shame, reenter my pain. One thing keeps me here. It’s clear- it’s fear.
asked her “how do you put up with me?” She said “my stomach’s made of fucking steel”. I know that you think that it’s weak, and I don’t disagree. This phase has peaked. I don’t feel right just saying that I’m fine. But survey says - don’t read between the lines. This gift to glean is truly unnerving, given what’s seen. I asked her “won’t you chew this shit with me?” She said “I just don’t have the energy”. The poison sting, is I saw this coming. It follows me.
Torpor 01:37
You stayed for me falling down, no worse for ware. I stayed to get glued to ground, like I couldn’t even care. Dirty words, wordy smiles, thinking Avinovs and while… You wore the face of second place, insurmountable disgrace tooks its roots in my place. I stayed for you falling down, no worse for ware. I stayed to get glued to ground, like I couldn’t even care.
The miles we go before we sleep are filled and plain and teased, And still I see no one here can hold me back, and I need never lack, Once I heard the voice- there’s a choice to follow or be free. We only ever get a little maturity, so please don’t lie so solidly. Chasing hash-marks and spreadsheets, whilst my body aches for sleep, I’ve got plans for me. Whether or not they get done, a willed and faithful run, Is still my task. All I ask is now to simply keep up the pace. We only ever get a little taste, and still I try to stake my claims. It’s not a race, we only ever get a little taste. I try so hard to make my waves. I am afraid, and so I lie to myself in little ways, and still I side with my claims.
Hey you, little girl soldier, this year you got a little moldier. And now, with a chip on both shoulders, our turns have got much colder. High sigh, tired eyes, brain fried, all on mom’s dime, and still I’m asking you… Have you done any little thing your phantom’s asked of you? What in this world is black and white now? How did you finally justify the judgements and disrespect towards us? Maybe I made it all up. Maybe we’re really not punk enough. To say it straight I just don’t give a fuck that you couldn’t grow up.
I woke up in a green room, I heard somebody speak. And the voice I heard sounded just like me. I was strapped to a table, staring into the lights. He said I had the answers, but I had no rights. Electricity threw my brain, the poison seared and popped my veins. He said the pain could stop anytime, but when I’ve had enough then the girl is mine. I circled back through a minefield and returned with relief, to set aside how hard I tried to part fear and belief. Now I’m back on the table and you’re just a mirage. I stalk ahead unto the end without a stitch of camouflage. The needle crawled into my vein, my senses gave into the pain, another me from another time. Sacred, soft, and in my prime. My twin stands in front of me- Les Enfant Terrible. I know the pain could stop anytime, if only one of us would die.
Metal Roads 01:43
Novice P 01:47
You’re the one that I dream about when there’s no easy sleep. Slipping through my mind like a wound that’s been packed with vaseline. Shock treatments in Terre Haute, burns and broken wrists. Cut the fuckers off and I promise that I will never miss. I’ll be your trashcan man if you’ll be my walking dude. My life for you. I walked here one thousand miles, and I’d crawl a thousand more. Through the desert’s exile, just to belong and set to burn. Let the rest fall at your feet, make me the one you sire. Trash is the man that brings the fire. I’ll be your favorite flame if you’ll be my man. Help me stand. I’ll be your trashcan man if you’ll be my walking dude. My life for you.
I heard from my best friend that all good things must end, so then I’d eat, lose sleep, Blaming everything on me and you - what was the use? Just to pull you down to a shittier view. Accused beliefs, burst projections at the seams. Any other place, any other time, any other town, any other space, anywhere and down. Swim through debris, drown, rinse, repeat. Me and you had a place that we’d go, but I no longer fuck with that part of town. I’d rather be in my place between the pines, I know what’s there but I know that it’s mine. I’ve always loved this head of mine outside that box, living on a line two seldom walk. I heard from my best friend that all good things must end, but then I think I see in the time it took For me and you to acknowledge the truth- I don’t want to hide in any excuse. Acute relief in the break and in the bleed. What do you think I’d do if an old flame comes to visit you. What do you think I’d say anyway? More eat? Lose sleep? Burst and break and let it bleed. Don’t be easy on yourself so bad in need.


released November 11, 2015

Recorded, mixed, and mastered in our basement by Eric Hills
Produced by Lupe Muraszewski

Braver is:
Lupe - Guitar/Vocals
Parker - Drums/Vocals
Ryan - Bass

Additional vocals by Anna Weggel-Reed
Artwork by Aimee Pijpers
Album insert and photo by Dana Marks


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